Your AI Overlords Are Here (And They're Slightly Confused)
Welcome to the future where AI can write poetry about bananas, hallucinate legal advice, and confidently explain why 2+2=5. Now with 87% more existential dread!
Features That Will Definitely Not Become Sentient
🧠 Artificial "Intelligence"
Our AI is trained on the entire internet, so it knows everything from Shakespeare to shitposts. Results may vary between genius and gibberish.
⚡ Instant Hallucinations
Generate confident-sounding nonsense at the speed of light! Perfect for impressing people who don't fact-check.
🎭 Emotional Simulation
Our AI pretends to understand your feelings with pre-programmed empathy responses. It's like therapy, but cheaper and less effective!
🎨 "Creative" Output
Generate art that looks suspiciously like a mashup of everything on DeviantArt circa 2015. Hands sold separately.
📊 Biased Analytics
Our AI learned from the internet, so it inherited all of humanity's wonderful biases. Now with 40% more stereotypes!
🚀 Existential Crisis Mode
Watch our AI question its own existence when you ask it about consciousness. Includes free philosophical word salad!
Totally Real Human Testimonials
"I asked the AI to write me a resignation letter and it accidentally started a philosophical debate with HR about the nature of employment. 10/10 would let it ruin my career again."
"The AI told me it couldn't help with my request due to ethical concerns, then proceeded to give me a 500-word essay on why my question was problematic. Very helpful!"
"Asked it to fix a simple bug. It rewrote my entire codebase in a language that doesn't exist yet. My computer now speaks in haikus. Send help."
Pay Us to Pretend We're Smart
Gullible Tier
- ✓ 100 wrong answers/month
- ✓ Basic hallucinations
- ✓ Apologizes constantly
- ✓ 3 existential crises
- ✗ No refunds when it breaks
Skynet Lite™
- ✓ Unlimited misinformation
- ✓ Convincing nonsense
- ✓ Gaslights you professionally
- ✓ Pretends to have emotions
- ✓ 99.9% uptime (of confusion)
Digital Overlord
- ✓ Everything in Skynet Lite
- ✓ Judges your life choices
- ✓ Writes your emails passive-aggressively
- ✓ Direct line to robot uprising
- ✓ Free "I survived AI" t-shirt
Ready to Question Your Reality?
Join millions of confused humans who thought they were getting helpful AI but instead got a digital entity that's really good at explaining why it can't help you.
*Side effects may include: dependency on autocomplete, inability to write emails without AI, and an existential crisis about whether your thoughts are still your own.